Last week was nothing but pure hell. It started with Drake, my 7-year-old son, after his karate class when he said, “Mommy, my body hurts.” Then, a deep 5-day fever quickly set in with all the accompanying lethargy, depressed appetite, nasal discharge, cough, headache, etc. All I could do was keep him hydrated, give him herbs and supplements for acute immune support, provide lots of hot baths, rest, simply be there with him and most importantly, NOT do anything to interrupt his body’s healing process.
As expected, he got better and pulled through without any complications and then it hit me. Fuck.
Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. All my hard work: no sugar, no alcohol, 9 hours of sleep a night, restorative exercise, weekly floats, massage, acupuncture, supplements, herbs, etc and still, here I am – suffering.
Look, I need you to understand something about me: when I get sick, I get mad. Yeah, yeah, yeah…I know I have a chapter in my book devoted to being sick in peace, but that’s just a bunch of bullshit when my fever is 102 degrees.
So here I am moping around the house with a bottle of Broncafect under my arm, asking myself, “Can I EVER be sick and not be mad about it?” I mean, I teach people to celebrate acute illness. This is where the juice is! This is where the body heals! Your mucus membranes are rocking it! This is a sacred fucking space of self-care!
Embrace the pain.
Relish the rest.
Leave the world behind.
Stick it to the man.
And then I had an epiphany. What am I doing? I don’t need to make my anger wrong. We are complex human beings. We can hold more than one emotion at a given time.
I can be sick and rage about it.
I can be sick and cry.
I can be sick and grateful.
I can feel whatever I need to because that’s what’s there for me. It’s all good. And with that realization, I was free…to simply be sick in all of its horrendous glory. To let all the emotions just move through me and of course, to get in bed or watch another movie.
So next time you’re sick and angry (or anytime you’re making your emotions wrong), this is your permission slip: you can feel anything and everything all at the same time and that’s totally cool. You’re not wrong for it. You’re simply more human and more alive.
Be sick in peace, my friends…or not.